Today, as daft as it may sound, I realised I was a mummy and that I would be forever.
It was a very simple moment which made my heart warm up.
Bubba was playing his favourite game of 'chase me Daisy' (the dog) and playing Peepo too. In this moment he clung on to my leg, looked up at me and laughed his head off then ran back in to the living room.
I don't know if it was that just my leg gave him reassurance or the fact that when he looked at me it was as though he knew he wanted to share that exact moment with his mummy. But it was one of those moments where the whole world was perfect!
Thursday, 29 March 2012
No naps mummy
After 3 days of fighting with a baby who will not nap today I decided to not bother.
The result was this...
The result was this...
Tuesday, 27 March 2012
Summertime & Little People
I've never really been one for the warm weather I much prefer autumn but this year it has somehow all changed. Of course that something is Bubba.
I've lived in my house for coming up to 8 years and never bothered with the garden. It was a concrete yard. Now it's fenced off, we have replaced pebbles with play bark, sand pit and play house will arrive in next few weeks and I will have actual real plants!
The reason is because I want bubba to enjoy the outdoors and have the freedom we had. Too much of life is now anything for convenience to get things done. There's so much pressure to have the perfect house, everything clean and tidy or to keep the world up to date on your life on Facebook or Twitter or watch the hundreds of reality tv programmes or beat the computer game before your friend. What about just stopping and enjoying life and taking advantage of what the day brings???
I've loved watching Bubba play out in the garden the past few days. He's gone from being a little unsure to screaming when I shut the door. He's quite content to sit and dig in the pebbles. I know, we do one side with play bark and he prefers the other, typical! He's been so happy and content and the only moaning he's done is when I tell him off for taking his hat off AGAIN!!!
You don't need garden toys just take their normal ones out and they become all shinny and new again. Bubba's imagination at 11 months fascinates me. One minute the spoon will be a spoon, then a spade, then a phone, then a brush and finally something to chase the dog with.
If your child is moaning and hard work they are probably bored, take them outside and they will be a different child. Plus it's good exercise for them and tires them out for bedtime!
I've lived in my house for coming up to 8 years and never bothered with the garden. It was a concrete yard. Now it's fenced off, we have replaced pebbles with play bark, sand pit and play house will arrive in next few weeks and I will have actual real plants!
The reason is because I want bubba to enjoy the outdoors and have the freedom we had. Too much of life is now anything for convenience to get things done. There's so much pressure to have the perfect house, everything clean and tidy or to keep the world up to date on your life on Facebook or Twitter or watch the hundreds of reality tv programmes or beat the computer game before your friend. What about just stopping and enjoying life and taking advantage of what the day brings???
I've loved watching Bubba play out in the garden the past few days. He's gone from being a little unsure to screaming when I shut the door. He's quite content to sit and dig in the pebbles. I know, we do one side with play bark and he prefers the other, typical! He's been so happy and content and the only moaning he's done is when I tell him off for taking his hat off AGAIN!!!
If your child is moaning and hard work they are probably bored, take them outside and they will be a different child. Plus it's good exercise for them and tires them out for bedtime!
Thursday, 15 March 2012
What If...???
Grey's Anatomy 08.13: If/Then
“‘The baby you have is the baby you were destined to have. It was meant to be.’ That’s what all the adoption people tell you, anyway. I like to think it’s true. But everything else in the world seems so completely random. What if one little thing I said, or did, could have made it all fall apart? What if I’d chosen another life for myself, or another person? We might have never found each other. What if I’d been raised differently? What if my mother had never been sick? What if I’d actually had a good father? What if… What if… What if?”
I am a HUGE Grey's fan and love Meredith's speeches. This week got me thinking.
WHAT IF....
I've often thought this along the way but it seems to have a whole new meaning now.
What If I'd stayed at college
What If I'd never moved to Huddersfield
What If I took the other job
What If I'd stayed with the other guy
What If i'd stuck to my guns and made him wait for our first date
What If I'd never said yes
What if I'd listened to the doctors and given up
Would I still have ended up right where I am today? or would I have something completely different?
It doesn't bare thinking about in my opinion and What If no longer matters.
“Your life is a gift. Accept it. No matter how screwed up or painful it seems to be. Some things are going to work out as if they were destined to happen. As if they were just meant to be.”
“‘The baby you have is the baby you were destined to have. It was meant to be.’ That’s what all the adoption people tell you, anyway. I like to think it’s true. But everything else in the world seems so completely random. What if one little thing I said, or did, could have made it all fall apart? What if I’d chosen another life for myself, or another person? We might have never found each other. What if I’d been raised differently? What if my mother had never been sick? What if I’d actually had a good father? What if… What if… What if?”
I am a HUGE Grey's fan and love Meredith's speeches. This week got me thinking.
WHAT IF....
I've often thought this along the way but it seems to have a whole new meaning now.
What If I'd stayed at college
What If I'd never moved to Huddersfield
What If I took the other job
What If I'd stayed with the other guy
What If i'd stuck to my guns and made him wait for our first date
What If I'd never said yes
What if I'd listened to the doctors and given up
Would I still have ended up right where I am today? or would I have something completely different?
It doesn't bare thinking about in my opinion and What If no longer matters.
“Your life is a gift. Accept it. No matter how screwed up or painful it seems to be. Some things are going to work out as if they were destined to happen. As if they were just meant to be.”
Wednesday, 14 March 2012
Accidents Happen
Bubba is up on his feet properly which is inevitably meaning more accidents.
I remember his first double roll over, yep, straight off the bed!
Not a day goes by now without a bump or too and we have had a couple of pretty serious things which have embedded two valuable lessons:
1) Toddling is a fast way to travel
My beloved had gone upstairs with bubba to start bedtime routine and shortly after I heard bumps on the stairs. I thought it was them running up and down the stairs. Then a very pale faced daddy came through the door with a very quiet and still bubba.
'He's just fallen down the whole flight of stairs'!!!!
I swear my heart stopped a beat after those words and seeing bubba so quiet but thank fully as soon as he saw mummy he screamed.
Daddy had put him down to shut the blind and in that short space he'd got to top of the stairs and daddy hadn't shut the stair gate. Luckily he was ok but I had a very unsettled night!
Daddy has learnt shut baby gates instantly.
2) Never under estimate how fast babies grow
Me and bubba had been at Grandma and Grandad's for a few days and once back at home I'd put a cup of tea down that I thought was completely out of the way. Nope all over his hand. It's amazing how fast you act when you need to. Unfortunately it did result in our 1st trip to A&E.
I felt and still feel incredibly guilty but he bounced right back.
It makes me think what else is to come. You'd do anything to wrap them in cotton wool but then how would they learn. It's all part of growing up, even if it does age mummy and daddy prematurely!
I remember his first double roll over, yep, straight off the bed!
Not a day goes by now without a bump or too and we have had a couple of pretty serious things which have embedded two valuable lessons:
1) Toddling is a fast way to travel
My beloved had gone upstairs with bubba to start bedtime routine and shortly after I heard bumps on the stairs. I thought it was them running up and down the stairs. Then a very pale faced daddy came through the door with a very quiet and still bubba.
'He's just fallen down the whole flight of stairs'!!!!
I swear my heart stopped a beat after those words and seeing bubba so quiet but thank fully as soon as he saw mummy he screamed.
Daddy had put him down to shut the blind and in that short space he'd got to top of the stairs and daddy hadn't shut the stair gate. Luckily he was ok but I had a very unsettled night!
Daddy has learnt shut baby gates instantly.
2) Never under estimate how fast babies grow
Me and bubba had been at Grandma and Grandad's for a few days and once back at home I'd put a cup of tea down that I thought was completely out of the way. Nope all over his hand. It's amazing how fast you act when you need to. Unfortunately it did result in our 1st trip to A&E.
I felt and still feel incredibly guilty but he bounced right back.
It makes me think what else is to come. You'd do anything to wrap them in cotton wool but then how would they learn. It's all part of growing up, even if it does age mummy and daddy prematurely!
Wednesday, 7 March 2012
10 things to do before you are 10
I've been doing my usual nighttime blog watching whilst bubba goes to sleep and there's alot of talk about Persil's new campaign:
Bear Grylls’ Top Ten Things To Do Before You’re Ten
1) Perfect the perfect hill roll
2) Become a hide-and-seek champion
3) Go sledging - on sand
4) Build a den - indoors or out
5) Build a rope swing
6) Nurse that sting
7) Try and count the stars
8) Make a mud pie
9) Make a compass
10) Pick your own pudding
The only ones I haven't done are 3 & 5 so I will have to participate with Bubba when it's his turn.
This got me thinking about the difference between my childhood world and Bubba's.
I remember playing outside for hours around our interlinking culdesac on our bikes, in and out of each others gardens, hide and seek etc we only had to check in at meal times. Now the thought of Bubba doing that sends me cold. don't get me wrong I want him to play but it's not the same world anymore and you just can't trust people.
I am adamant Bubba will play out doors starting this summer and we are about to try make our boring back yard a little more friendly and inviting. I'll be damned if he's going to spend as much time on an x box as his daddy.
I have some extra bits I want to do the Bubba...
Make a daisy chain
Plant and look after his own sunflower
Camp out overnight in the garden
Make sandcastles on the beach
Make snow angels
I can't wait. Even though I'm sad my baby is growing so fast but there is so much to look forward to!
Bear Grylls’ Top Ten Things To Do Before You’re Ten
1) Perfect the perfect hill roll
2) Become a hide-and-seek champion
3) Go sledging - on sand
4) Build a den - indoors or out
5) Build a rope swing
6) Nurse that sting
7) Try and count the stars
8) Make a mud pie
9) Make a compass
10) Pick your own pudding
The only ones I haven't done are 3 & 5 so I will have to participate with Bubba when it's his turn.
This got me thinking about the difference between my childhood world and Bubba's.
I remember playing outside for hours around our interlinking culdesac on our bikes, in and out of each others gardens, hide and seek etc we only had to check in at meal times. Now the thought of Bubba doing that sends me cold. don't get me wrong I want him to play but it's not the same world anymore and you just can't trust people.
I am adamant Bubba will play out doors starting this summer and we are about to try make our boring back yard a little more friendly and inviting. I'll be damned if he's going to spend as much time on an x box as his daddy.
I have some extra bits I want to do the Bubba...
Make a daisy chain
Plant and look after his own sunflower
Camp out overnight in the garden
Make sandcastles on the beach
Make snow angels
I can't wait. Even though I'm sad my baby is growing so fast but there is so much to look forward to!
Tuesday, 6 March 2012
Cadbury World
Two weeks ago we went on our first family holiday to the Peak District. My beloved had never been to Cadbury World and I was dying to go back for the pot of liquid chocolate, so we decided to go along with Grandma for the day.
Before the holiday I had done some research into any offers and found 2
a 20% off
We went with their own Purple Thursday 2 for 1 offer http://www.cadburyworld.co.uk/cadburyworld/plan/pages/cadburyworldoffers.aspx
We were expecting to get there and have to wait for an admission time but, we were pleasantly surprised and admitted straight away. It was very busy with school and college trips but on the whole it was an enjoyable day out.
Bubba loved it especially all the exhibitions with the models...although a little frustrated that they didn't pay him any attention.
There are several different parts to the experience and is all on a one way system:
Aztec Jungle
Journey to Europe
Bull Street
The Cadbury Story
Making the chocolate
Manufacturing
Packaging
Cadabra
demonstration area
Advertising avenue
Purple Planet
The Shop
There are toilets throughout the experience, which is essential with a little one. There is a stage where you must leave pushchairs downstairs as you go upstairs but I would have been happy to do so. If I had gone with a tiny baby I would have been inclined to use a sling as it is quite noisy and the stretch without the pushchair can be lengthy depending on the size of the que for Cadabra.
There is also now a separate area around the back called essence. This is where the liquid chocolate is, yummy, and well worth the walk around the back.
The only part we struggled with was the cinematic presentations which Bubba did not appreciate, he just wanted to walk around and see everyone and everything. He loved the Cadabra ride, he was stunned into silence watching the mechanical beans. We even fell into the trap for the £7 photo souvenir for his memory box.
The cafe, like all, is a little pricy but large and baby friendly with a food warming station.
We had a lovely day out, even if daddy was disappointed there were no umpalumpas!!
Sunday, 4 March 2012
What I wish I knew then...PT1
I am rapidly approaching bubba's1st birthday and there has been talk of when is the right time to think about a2nd edition (not yet)!!! This consequently is leading me to think about will itbe easier 2nd time round knowing what I now know about pregnancy, labour andbeyond. There are many things I wish I'd known first time round and I feel itonly right to share these things for any first time mummy to be's.
Tiredness
I know it tells you in the books that the first 12 weeks ofpregnancy you will be tired. This is a lie you will be shattered the whole 9months. You spend nights tossing and turning cause your hot, fidgety, worried,excited the list is endless. I found it easier to sleep through the day on thesofa to a good film. So prepare for your social life to dwindle before baby iseven here and give into weekends of sleeping because you'll need all you canget.
Internal Scan
I was so unbelievably lucky to fall pregnant due to medicalreasons that I was under a consultant within days and early scan was requiredto check everything was where it should be. The first was inconclusive and soneeded a second 2 weeks after. That night at my friends I began to bleed. My heartbroke instantly and went straight down to A&E after hours of waiting andthinking it was game over they told me that it was due to the internal and wasa common side effect. I was mortified no one had warned me about this and I'dthought I was miscarrying and spent the rest of my pregnancy terrified. Ipersonally would not opt for an internal again I would wait until the 12 weeks.
Going past due date
I was convinced my baby would be early as he would be just aseager to meet me as I was to meet him. Wrong!!! I went to term plus 11!!! Thatlast 2 weeks was the longest of my life. The first few days after my due date werethe worst. I was at home thinking if I went anywhere it would start and I wasadamant my labour would be private and not plastered over Facebook so didn'twant to be in anyone's company. I tried every home remedy to get things goingand it's all lies none of it worked. Then I decided just to get on with lifeand spent days wanting to smack people in the mouth when they asked 'when areyou due'. If I had the time again I would really appreciate it by catching upwith friends, going to cinema, sleeping and reading.
Labour
When they say slow labour I thought couple of day’s tops. Wrongtry 5 slow, tiring days! Also my midwife said don’t worry you will know when you’rein labour WRONG. I started with back ache on the Tuesday which just got worse,lost my plug on the Wednesday which turned out to be most painful part for me,Thursday morning contractions every 3 mins for an hour then stopped, Thursdaystretch and sweep through really irregular contractions and Friday watersbroke. This was also not a trickle it was like there was a person in therethrowing out buckets of water my god was there a lot. So off to hospital wewent to be sent home. Spent all night on the bath thinking I really need a pooand I now know I was resisting pushing. Felt so the next morning after 8 hoursin the bath, we went back to hospital where I laid in medical assessment for 12hours completely unaware of anything going on around me I was so riddle withinfection and fever. They kept coming and telling me I would be induced thenanother emergency happened and they needed seniors available for me in case ofcomplications. They never checked where I was in labour as I was on a monitorand contractions were very irregular. I was moved to delivery at about 9pmwhere again they put back induction. By this point I hadn't had any sleep sincethe Tuesday or eaten for 24 hours. I was on a drip and had a catheter fitted asI couldn't add urine and wasn't even passing fluid after 8 litres had beenpumped into me. I spent 2 more hours in the bath full of trapped wind so gavein and started pushing out this wind as i didn't want it to happen in front ofeveryone. By the time it came to them getting ready to induce me it was12:30pm! We talked through what would happen and that I'd have epi as soon ascontractions became regular. You see I have a condition called IdiopathicIntracranial Hypertension (too much fluid on around my brain) so they wouldn'tlet me experience too much pain or push for more than an hour in case it mademe Ill. I was devastated by this as I wanted a natural birth. Anyway theydecided to check me and of course you all know what I'm going to say yes thehead was visible. They were so shocked as I'd been doing it all on my own. Ipushed baby out without contractions as they had stopped and without any painrelief not even has and air! I can honestly say I had absolutely no pain whatso ever during end stage and I experienced everything and it was the bestfeeling in the world.
Now I've told you all this because if like me you have a high painthreshold if you even think for a second things may be happening get tohospital and insist they check or if you feel ill or have a temperature. Icould have made my baby seriously Ill as he'd been in birth canal for 24 hours!Luckily all was ok.
Part 2 to follow
What I Wish I knew then...PT2
Breast Feeding
At the beginning of my pregnancy I wasn't that keen on the thought bf but by the end I was adamant I would. So as soon as baby was here we were off and we both took to it like old pros. However from the 2nd night bubba was attached to me from 10pm till 6am for 3 nights. It was such hard work as I'd still not slept properly so exhausted. This lead to arguments with my fiancé who was so worried about me and that baby wasn't getting enough he wanted to try bottle. I was heartbroken and cried for hours and hours. I felt like a failure and that bubba was being poisoned by formula. This I'm sure was because you have it drilled in to you throughout pregnancy how good bf is for baby etc. Well the formula worked and from then on he bf better as well. It's hard not to put pressure on yourself and I felt guilty for months for giving up. Breast feeding is the hardest job you will ever do. It's demanding and can be very restricting especially if like me you wouldn't do it in public! I also found it very painful, not my nipples, how it helps your womb contract. Obviously this is brilliant for your tummy but I found it more painful than labour. You must do what is right for you and baby not what society says is right. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed BF and that time was so beautiful and I would recommend it to anyone. I would just say go into it with open eyes and take each feed one at a time.
Sweating and Swelling
I did so well during pregnancy gaining less than the average 2 stone and no swelling ankles or aches and pains. Don't get me wrong I couldn't walk very far by the end but I was so pleased how my body coped. After was a different story.
My ankles swelled up so bad I couldn't wear shoes for days or bare to stand up for more than a few minutes. I felt like my legs were going to burst. My boobs were huge and they are big anyway and so very heavy and leaked every night. The sweating was the worst it was disgusting and I felt so very dirty for days. I had to completely change at least 3 times a day and spent most of the time in underwear and a thin dressing gown. Needless to say you really do look like crap. That pregnancy glow dies instantly and you get mummy dullness.
Bleeding
I was lucky enough to get a good hour of skin to skin with bubba immediately after birth (only due to fact it took that long to stitch me up)! After this I obviously wanted to clean up and desperately wanted to wash my hair. So bubba went for daddy cuddles and I got up and whoosh like a blood bath. I was horrified as they'd just mopped up my mess. I couldn't believe the amount of blood I lost and the clots I passed were the size of my hand I honestly thought I was dying. When they say you need about 48 pads for first week they weren't lying!
Relationships
Before bubba arrived me and my beloved would often talk about our fears of what a little person would do to our relationship. We agonised over the fact we knew we'd argue and be ratty and boy were we right. Our would was tipped on its arse and it effected us more than we could possibly imagine. The first few weeks were like perfection in our little family bubble. It was when he returned to work. You can't give each other the same amount of attention as before and the alone time is zero time. It's very hard and anyone who thinks a baby would save a relationship is deluded.
My relationship with my own parents on the other hand is better than ever. My dad is a fabulous grandad and watching him with bubba is breath taking. My mum well what can I say...they live 1 hour 20 mins away and for that first week she came back and forth so much just to support me and sit up all night with me. She comforted me through the tears and reassured me what my instincts told me to do would be right. At the time I just wanted her to tell me what to do but she didn't she guided me through. She's done many a night shift when we've been close to the edge as well. My mum is purely amazing.
Friendships change too. Some friends vanish, old friends try to come back and your real friends understand that you can't talk on the phone at certain points of the day or that you can't do something then as you have other commitments. Most of all they understand if you don't speak to them for a week or two it's because you thought it had only been a day or two. These resemble most of my friends :-) You also make new friends who you share a unique bond with who know exactly how you feel as they feel the same and you help keep each others sanity.
To love a stranger
I was incredibly lucky that as soon as I was given bubba in my arms I instantly loved him. It was overwhelming and sent mine and Daddy's emotions into overdrive for the first few weeks. I remember catching my beloved just staring into the Moses basket with pure love in his eyes and when he saw me watching his response was always 'i made that'! It is so incredible that you can love a stranger instantly and I was so lucky to feel that way.
Some mums find it a little more difficult and don't get that instant maternal feeling which is very normal too. It takes time to develop and slowly creeps up on them over time. These mummy's deserve a medal, as I don't know how I would have got through the first few weeks, when I was ready to crack, if I hadn't fallen even deeper in love every time I loved at bubba. To go through all that and develop your relationship at the same time is heroic and I look up to you in admiration.
I didn't post all this to put you off it's just me and all my mummy friends have had huge shocks to what happens next and I'm sure there's more to come. Bubba is so totally worth everything and my piece of perfection that amazes me everyday.
At the beginning of my pregnancy I wasn't that keen on the thought bf but by the end I was adamant I would. So as soon as baby was here we were off and we both took to it like old pros. However from the 2nd night bubba was attached to me from 10pm till 6am for 3 nights. It was such hard work as I'd still not slept properly so exhausted. This lead to arguments with my fiancé who was so worried about me and that baby wasn't getting enough he wanted to try bottle. I was heartbroken and cried for hours and hours. I felt like a failure and that bubba was being poisoned by formula. This I'm sure was because you have it drilled in to you throughout pregnancy how good bf is for baby etc. Well the formula worked and from then on he bf better as well. It's hard not to put pressure on yourself and I felt guilty for months for giving up. Breast feeding is the hardest job you will ever do. It's demanding and can be very restricting especially if like me you wouldn't do it in public! I also found it very painful, not my nipples, how it helps your womb contract. Obviously this is brilliant for your tummy but I found it more painful than labour. You must do what is right for you and baby not what society says is right. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed BF and that time was so beautiful and I would recommend it to anyone. I would just say go into it with open eyes and take each feed one at a time.
Sweating and Swelling
I did so well during pregnancy gaining less than the average 2 stone and no swelling ankles or aches and pains. Don't get me wrong I couldn't walk very far by the end but I was so pleased how my body coped. After was a different story.
My ankles swelled up so bad I couldn't wear shoes for days or bare to stand up for more than a few minutes. I felt like my legs were going to burst. My boobs were huge and they are big anyway and so very heavy and leaked every night. The sweating was the worst it was disgusting and I felt so very dirty for days. I had to completely change at least 3 times a day and spent most of the time in underwear and a thin dressing gown. Needless to say you really do look like crap. That pregnancy glow dies instantly and you get mummy dullness.
Bleeding
I was lucky enough to get a good hour of skin to skin with bubba immediately after birth (only due to fact it took that long to stitch me up)! After this I obviously wanted to clean up and desperately wanted to wash my hair. So bubba went for daddy cuddles and I got up and whoosh like a blood bath. I was horrified as they'd just mopped up my mess. I couldn't believe the amount of blood I lost and the clots I passed were the size of my hand I honestly thought I was dying. When they say you need about 48 pads for first week they weren't lying!
Relationships
Before bubba arrived me and my beloved would often talk about our fears of what a little person would do to our relationship. We agonised over the fact we knew we'd argue and be ratty and boy were we right. Our would was tipped on its arse and it effected us more than we could possibly imagine. The first few weeks were like perfection in our little family bubble. It was when he returned to work. You can't give each other the same amount of attention as before and the alone time is zero time. It's very hard and anyone who thinks a baby would save a relationship is deluded.
My relationship with my own parents on the other hand is better than ever. My dad is a fabulous grandad and watching him with bubba is breath taking. My mum well what can I say...they live 1 hour 20 mins away and for that first week she came back and forth so much just to support me and sit up all night with me. She comforted me through the tears and reassured me what my instincts told me to do would be right. At the time I just wanted her to tell me what to do but she didn't she guided me through. She's done many a night shift when we've been close to the edge as well. My mum is purely amazing.
Friendships change too. Some friends vanish, old friends try to come back and your real friends understand that you can't talk on the phone at certain points of the day or that you can't do something then as you have other commitments. Most of all they understand if you don't speak to them for a week or two it's because you thought it had only been a day or two. These resemble most of my friends :-) You also make new friends who you share a unique bond with who know exactly how you feel as they feel the same and you help keep each others sanity.
To love a stranger
I was incredibly lucky that as soon as I was given bubba in my arms I instantly loved him. It was overwhelming and sent mine and Daddy's emotions into overdrive for the first few weeks. I remember catching my beloved just staring into the Moses basket with pure love in his eyes and when he saw me watching his response was always 'i made that'! It is so incredible that you can love a stranger instantly and I was so lucky to feel that way.
Some mums find it a little more difficult and don't get that instant maternal feeling which is very normal too. It takes time to develop and slowly creeps up on them over time. These mummy's deserve a medal, as I don't know how I would have got through the first few weeks, when I was ready to crack, if I hadn't fallen even deeper in love every time I loved at bubba. To go through all that and develop your relationship at the same time is heroic and I look up to you in admiration.
I didn't post all this to put you off it's just me and all my mummy friends have had huge shocks to what happens next and I'm sure there's more to come. Bubba is so totally worth everything and my piece of perfection that amazes me everyday.
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